Hey, it’s Mischa and I’m here with Ian Hu and we’ll be discussing Discovery by Karina Fabian.
[Mischa] Who or what are you and what are your vitals?
[Ian] Oh, I love interviews! Nothing is better than discussing the wonder that is Ian Hu!
Hey, just kidding, but you may as well know now I’m that kind of guy. Joker, life of the party, quick of wit and steady of hand. I’m Ian Hu, and I’m 29, male, hetero, and available.
[Mischa] You won’t be after this interview. I’m taken and I get tons of women emailing me.
Ladies, if you’re interested in contacting Ian, just send me a message and I’ll forward it on.
[Mischa] Okay, next question. What position are you seeking on this expedition?
[Ian] You mean, what do I hope to study on our alien ship? Drive systems. I’m a mechanical engineer and space drive systems specialist. I have a double PhD in Space systems engineering and quantum physics with a focus on negative energy, and I don’t mean in a psychological sense. Psychologically, I am all about the positive.
[Mischa] What are your hopes for this mission?
[Ian] It’s kind of obvious. These aliens had to travel from some other inhabited system. That’s intergalactic distances. Unless they have some kind of sleeper ship – which would be nova, I would not complain – but if not, then they have faster than light engines. Maybe warp technology. My hope is that whatever these engines do, they are something I can understand.
Now, look. I know you may have other applicants that will hope to find something to prove this or that theory they have, or provide a practical demonstration of some drive system they believe possible. I’m going in open minded. I want to scour those engines and figure them out so we can recreate them for humans. It’s our ticket to the stars!
[Mischa] Tell me about where you live? Who do you live with?
[Ian] I’m a free spirit. I spend half my time in space, actually working on developing new engines, and half my time on Earth, studying and surfing. What’s surfing? Oh, you have to go on-planet and find a beach! See, surfing is riding the waves of the planet’s oceans on a long narrow board. It is the ultimate freedom, and nothing beats the feel of the water on your skin. God, I love the water!
[Mischa] What’s the worst thing you’ve done to someone?
[Ian] Wow. Hm. Other than a couple of broken hearts, I can’t really think of anything. I mean, there was that time Dr. Amaal’s beard into a goatee. He was mad for weeks. It was hilarious. But you know, just pranks…
Huh? Oh, yeah. Hand’s just itchy. It’s a long-running condition. Nothing that will affect the mission.
But, uh, yeah. I’m not a hurtful guy.
[Mischa] What annoys you more than anything else?
[Ian] I’m too professional to let my personal opinions get in the way of the mission. Besides, alien ship! Seriously, my shipmates could be complete leaks and I’d still have the time of my life. But if I had to choose, I’d say a lack of a sense of humor. Except Dr. Thoren. I mean, he is the guy in charge, lots on his mind. I wouldn’t expect him to cut loose and be a joker with the rest of us peons. But yeah, a lack of humor with that kind of disdain for people who want to make a mission fun…that would get on my nerves. See, I have a motto: You can laugh or you can cry, and I’d rather laugh.
And cold women. I like to flirt, sometimes with serious intent. I don’t mind a woman who can say “no” as long as she doesn’t act like just scraped you off their shoe or a come on makes me a serial killer or something.
[Mischa] What time of day is your favorite?
[Ian] In space, any time is as good as another. On Earth, it depends totally on where I am. You see, you want the best tides for surfing vary by beach, weather and a few other factors like your skill level. My perfect wave would be much too rough for a beginner, for example. I even developed an app for the wristcomp that will consider tide tables, weather forecasts, buoy reports, and other reports. It makes a prediction. The closer you are to the time, the better the prediction, of course. There is nothing better than catching the perfect wave.
[Mischa] Okay, last question. What kind of weather is your favorite?
[Ian] Sunny, hot, and big waves. But hey, like I said, I spend half my year in space, so don’t think seven months on a mission is going to be a burden for me or anything.