Could The Vatican Have Ninjas?

The idea of Vatican Ninjas has been around for at least 25 years, if not longer. The first time I heard about them was when TMNT became popular in the early 1990s. Everything was ninja this and ninja that.

Ninjas make their rounds every so often. And it’s not surprising at all that they would infiltrate the Vatican. Of course there is the nitpicky issue that ninjas follow Eastern religions and have practices not at all compatible with Catholicism or Christianity. (See Seppuku, a form of ritual suicide.)

Depending on who you listen to, ninja training is a means of strengthening the spirit through physical conditioning and that it does not adhere to any one religion, but is influenced by many religions.

If that is the case, ninja is not compatible with Catholicism, which says that all things come from God. Faith strengthens our spirit, not physical conditioning. Our focus is not on ourselves, but on God.

So, how can there be Vatican Ninjas if the art of the ninja is not compatible with Catholicism? Obviously, by using ninja as slang for someone who is a master of their art or trade than on the literal definition.

The only books that I’m aware of in which Vatican Ninjas are a thing, the second usage would apply.

Last week, a discussion of the Vatican brought up how high tech security is there. When the Vatican is mentioned people think of the Swiss Guard, whose sole job is to protect the Pope. The Corps of Gendarmerie of Vatican City is the secular body which provides security for the City-State and serves as the police force within the walls of the Vatican.

Since the sole job of the Swiss Guard is to protect the Pope, it stretches plausibility that they would be off gallivanting after vampires and such. And since the Corps is confined to authority within the city walls, it seems that there would need to be a separate body to fight evil outside of the Vatican’s confines.

In fiction, authors get a bit more leeway than in real life. And since there is nothing in the Catechism, General Instruction of the Roman Missal or Canon Law forbidding a group of super fighters from traveling the world fighting evil, I can roll with it.

The use of Vatican Ninjas in Declan Finn’s Love At First Bite series does add a bit of fun to the books. It’s one area that I have to sit on my hands and just enjoy the ride without nitpicking the history, motivations and expense that would be required to do half of what the team does in his books.

I mean come on, do you know how much it costs for 50 cal rounds? Hornedy sells a box of 10 rounds for around $65. At the rate Declan’s ninjas go through ammo, the Vatican could buy Australia if they had a 3 month moratorium on ammo alone. That doesn’t include the expense of all of their other weapons. As the world’s largest charitable organization, I imagine the Holy See would frown on such an expense when cheaper means are available.

Back to my original question, “Could The Vatican Have Ninjas?”

In fiction, sure, why not. In real life…eh, not so much.

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