Ode To Delusion: A Fisking

There has been so much about the “Women’s March”, yet so little about what it actually was about or was meant to accomplish. The March for Life which happens on January 27th has a clear goal…to protest the legalization of abortion. The Women’s March’s goal is anyone’s guess. It was a nice day, maybe they all just wanted to take a walk. 

The coverage has led to arguments…of course. It’s the internet after all. Those that didn’t go to the march are being criticized by those that did and vice versa.

I came across this dandy little “poem” in reply to women who was not impressed with being called a second class citizen by women wearing giant vagina costumes. 

It is a wonderful example of how ignorance destroys society.

As usual my comments are in red.

You Are Not Equal. I’m Sorry.

A post is making rounds on social media, in response to the Women’s March on Saturday, January 21, 2017. It starts with “I am not a “disgrace to women” because I don’t support the women’s march. I do not feel I am a “second class citizen” because I am a woman….”

This is my response to that post.

I am all ears…er…eyes to find out how horribly oppressed I am.

Say Thank You

Say thank you. Say thank you to the women who gave you a voice. Say thank you to the women who were arrested and imprisoned and beaten and gassed for you to have a voice. Say thank you to the women who refused to back down, to the women who fought tirelessly to give you a voice. Say thank you to the women who put their lives on hold, who –lucky for you — did not have “better things to do” than to march and protest and rally for your voice. So you don’t feel like a “second class citizen.” So you get to feel “equal.”

You might be a second class citizen, but I am not. Neither were any of the women who came before me. My mother and grandmother and their mothers and grandmothers before them were not second class citizens. They were protected by the exact same Constitution that protects men. And while some of them could not vote, they certainly had a voice…just ask their husbands and children.

They had jobs and raised children. They were educators and farmers and didn’t put up with shit from nobody. They were tough women, unlike the snowflakes of today who whine and complain that life isn’t fair.

Suck it up sweetheart. Life is never going to be fair. It is hard and shit happens. If you want something, go get it yourself. Get a job, start a business, get your own damn birth control pills and stop expecting others to do everything for you. And for God’s sake, stop whining like a 2 year old that got told no. Put on your big girl panties and grow up.

Thank Susan B. Anthony and Alice Paul for your right to vote.

A little history, shall we. The ratification of the 19th Amendment was not when women secured the right to vote. It was the moment when voting rights for women were standardized across all states. Prior to the ratification of the Nineteen Amendmet, women had the right to vote in all but a few states to varying degrees. In fact, women in all of the western states and many of the midwestern states had the right to vote. The battle over women voting was almost an entirely Eastern states issue.

At the time, it was men, not women, that introduced the Amendment to expand voting rights to everyone (the first time in 1878), and they were the ones to ratify the Nineteenth Amendment. So, my dear, it is thanks to men that both men and women have equal voting rights.

Furthermore, if women had not had a voice back then, they never would have been able to go before the legislature and voice their support of this Amendment. They would never have been able to petition the courts to force the issue regarding the 14th Amendment. The would never been able to convince men that they should be allowed to vote.

Thank Elizabeth Stanton for your right to work.

Women have always worked. Whether that was in paid employment or unpaid at home, they worked. Anyone who has spent any time looking through census records would see this. Farm wives were in the fields with their husbands, they worked in factories, they worked as teachers, and they worked as mothers. Only those with wealth were able to work on their fine needle point or attend tea. Poor women worked or they starved that was the reality of life. 

Thank Maud Wood Park for your prenatal care and your identity outside of your husband.

That would be doctors. Doctors provided prenatal care, sometimes for chickens as proven by the historic doctor’s notes that I’ve had the privilege to read.

As for the identity outside of ones husband, that was changed gradually over time through countless court cases and legislation.

Thank Rose Schneiderman for your humane working conditions.

Thank Eleanor Roosevelt and Molly Dewson for your ability to work in politics and affect policy.

Women have always had the ability to affect policy. They have always had a voice in our government regardless of whether they had the right to vote. They were capable of filing legal suits in court challenging legislation as demonstrated by the suits brought by Susan B. Anthony challenging the application of the 14th Amendment.  

Thank Margaret Sanger for your legal birth control.

I’ll pass on thanking a racist who saw poor people as human weeds. She is a stain on the history of women and the United States.

Thank Carol Downer for your reproductive healthcare rights.

I’ll pass on this stain on the history of women as well. Anyone who advocates for the right to kill another human is vile.

Thank Sarah Muller for your equal education.

Women were educated long before this country was a country. And considering the state of today’s education system, there isn’t much to thank her for.

Thank Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Shannon Turner, Gloria Steinem, Zelda Kingoff Nordlinger, Rosa Parks, Angela Davis, Malika Saada Saar, Wagatwe Wanjuki, Ida B. Wells, Malala Yousafzai. Thank your mother, your grandmother, your great-grandmother who did not have half of the rights you have now.

First off, none of the women listed, except my mother, gave me anything. Secondly, the only person I need to thank is my parents who brought me into this world. Without both of them, I would not exist. I owe nothing to anyone other than them. These women are nothing more than examples of women who accomplished changes by using their voice to do something other than whine. 

They petitioned their government. They took to the courts. They convinced people through reasoned argument to get what they wanted. They didn’t take to the streets dressed as “sluts” or giant vaginas making idiots of themselves. 

You can make your own choices, speak and be heard, vote, work, control your body, defend yourself, defend your family, because of the women who marched. You did nothing to earn those rights. You were born into those rights. You did nothing, but you reap the benefits of women, strong women, women who fought misogyny and pushed through patriarchy and fought for you. And you sit on your pedestal, a pedestal you are fortunate enough to have, and type. A keyboard warrior. A fighter for complacency. An acceptor of what you were given. A denier of facts. Wrapped up in your delusion of equality.

Gag. My pedestal? What fucking pedestal? I worked my ass off for everything I have and so did all of the women you denigrate as being somehow less than equal simply because we’re women and don’t believe the same as you. It is nothing but circumstance that these rights were in place when I was born. How dare you try to belittle me or any woman who had no control over when they were born. Your dumb ass was born with these same rights in place. And instead of celebrating all of these wonderful gifts of equality, you run around with “pussyhats” and throw tantrums whining that you should be taken care of by the government. Poor fucking baby.

Stop being a victim of your own delusions and look around. No one is stopping you from having a voice. No one is stopping you from being successful. No one is stopping you from petitioning your representatives or buying your own damn birth control. The only thing stopping you is your feelings of inadequacy. 

You are not equal. Even if you feel like you are. You still make less than a man for doing the same work. You make less as a CEO, as an athlete, as an actress, as a doctor. You make less in government, in the tech industry, in healthcare.

Unlike snowflakes, I don’t rely on “feelings”. I rely on facts and reality. I know I am equal. My income is based on how much benefit I bring to my company, both as an employee and as an owner. The fact that women make less than men is due to the types of jobs that women take versus men, the number of hours they work versus men, and a whole number of other factors that have nothing to do with equality.

You still don’t have full rights over your own body. Men are still debating over your uterus. Over your prenatal care. Over your choices.

No. What you want is unfettered license to kill your own children. And for someone so into “voting”, you’d think you’d understand the simple basics of a representative government. Those aren’t men voting over your uterus. They are your representatives creating laws on your behalf for your benefit. Isn’t civics wonderful? 

You still have to pay taxes for your basic sanitary needs.

Yup, just like I have to pay taxes on my income, transportation, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, Chinese take-out and any other number of things. Do you think all the shit the government provides just magically appears somehow? It doesn’t. It takes money. Money provided by paying taxes on your tampons. Deal with it.

You still have to carry mace when walking alone at night. You still have to prove to the court why you were drunk on the night you were raped. You still have to justify your behavior when a man forces himself on you.

That is because there are criminals out there who don’t give a fuck what laws say. And there is this thing called “innocent until proven guilty”. Sorry, but just cause your feelz were hurt doesn’t make it a crime. So obviously, anyone who asserts a crime was committed has to prove it. The system is on the side of the defendant for good reason. Ever heard of the Salem Witch Trials? or Batson vs Kennedy? 

You still don’t have paid (or even unpaid) maternity leave. You still have to go back to work while your body is broken. While you silently suffer from postpartum depression.

That is a lie. The Family Medical Leave Act provides 12 weeks of unpaid leave after which you can return to the same position that you held with the company when you left. Some companies provide paid leave benefits. Anyone suffering from postpartum depression needs to see a doctor about it. 

If you would bother to go beyond snowflake talking points, you’d know that paid maternity leave in other countries has conditions attached. Some countries require a full year on the job before one qualifies. Others only pay a percentage for the first 8 weeks or so and then the amount drops each consecutive month. And, there is no guarantee that they will get to return to their old position. Plus, this paid maternity leave is funded by a separate employment tax on top of all of the other taxes one pays in those countries. It’s no wonder that their birth rates are so low. Paid maternity leave isn’t enough to cover the extra cost of a child after the hefty burden of taxes.

You still have to fight to breastfeed in public. You still have to prove to other women it’s your right to do so. You still offend others with your breasts.

I never asked anyone’s permission to breastfeed and no one ever made an issue of it. Besides, if someone had an issue with it, too bad.

You are still objectified. You are still catcalled. You are still sexualized. You are still told you’re too skinny or you’re too fat. You’re still told you’re too old or too young. You’re applauded when you “age gracefully.” You’re still told men age “better.” You’re still told to dress like a lady. You are still judged on your outfit instead of what’s in your head. What brand bag you have still matters more than your college degree.

And you act as if any of this makes one damn bit of difference as to who I am as a woman. It doesn’t. That’s the difference between women who are confident in who they are and those who feel inadequate. 

You are still being abused by your husband, by your boyfriend. You’re still being murdered by your partners. Being beaten by your soulmate.

And women are still robbed, assaulted, murdered, kidnapped and on and on by all sorts of criminals, male and female. No law is ever going to prevent crime. It can only punish the criminal after the fact.  You are delusional if you think crime is any indication of a lack of equality.

You are still worse off if you are a woman of color, a gay woman, a transgender woman. You are still harassed, belittled, dehumanized.

Your daughters are still told they are beautiful before they are told they are smart. Your daughters are still told to behave even though “boys will be boys.” Your daughters are still told boys pull hair or pinch them because they like them.

You are not equal. Your daughters are not equal. You are still systemically oppressed.

[eyeroll] The only oppression that I see is that in the mind of delusional people such as yourself.

Estonia allows parents to take up to three years of leave, fully paid for the first 435 days. United States has no policy requiring maternity leave.

Singapore’s women feel safe walking alone at night. American women do not.

New Zealand’s women have the smallest gender gap in wages, at 5.6%. United States’ pay gap is 20%.

Iceland has the highest number of women CEOs, at 44%. United States is at 4.0%.

The United States ranks at 45 for women’s equality. Behind Rwanda, Cuba, Philippines, Jamaica.

Please feel free to depart for any one of those other utopian countries, I’m sure they’ll invite you with open arms in order to milk you for taxes to pay for all of these glorious benefits.

But I get it. You don’t want to admit it. You don’t want to be a victim. You think feminism is a dirty word. You think it’s not classy to fight for equality. You hate the word pussy. Unless of course you use it to call a man who isn’t up to your standard of manhood. You know the type of man that “allows” “his” woman to do whatever she damn well pleases. I get it. You believe feminists are emotional, irrational, unreasonable. Why aren’t women just satisfied with their lives, right? You get what you get and you don’t get upset, right?

I get it. You want to feel empowered. You don’t want to believe you’re oppressed. Because that would mean you are indeed a “second-class citizen.” You don’t want to feel like one. I get it. But don’t worry. I will walk for you. I will walk for your daughter. And your daughter’s daughter. And maybe you will still believe the world did not change. You will believe you’ve always had the rights you have today. And that’s okay. Because women who actually care and support other women don’t care what you think about them. They care about their future and the future of the women who come after them.

Open your eyes. Open them wide. Because I’m here to tell you, along with millions of other women that you are not equal. Our equality is an illusion. A feel-good sleight of hand. A trick of the mind. I’m sorry to tell you, but you are not equal. And neither are your daughters.

But don’t worry. We will walk for you. We will fight for you. We will stand up for you. And one day you will actually be equal, instead of just feeling like you are.

~ Dina Leygerman, 2017

Good luck with that. While your out whining and throwing tantrums about how life isn’t fair, me and millions of women will be actually putting hand to the grind stone doing the heavy lifting of real work. We will be the ones becoming CEOs, legislators, teachers, mothers, judges, volunteers. We will be the ones helping the women who have no food, no clothes, no place to live. We’ll be the ones showing the younger generations what it means to be equal, what it means to have dignity, courage and self-respect.

Down the road, when you, like many of the dried up feminists of years past, wonder why your movement went nowhere, you can look back at the pictures of women in vagina costumes and pussy hats and see where you went wrong. And you can watch all of those women you denigrated as second-class citizens living the dream of equality.

1 Comment

  1. // Reply

    I can’t really add anything to your rebuttal (and not “because you’re a guy”, I’m pretty sure you don’t buy that ad hominem bull excrement any more than I do), but I do think you may have missed an opportunity when talking about the marchers walking around in vagina costumes, particularly when responding to the original author’s complaining about objectifying women. Namely, why is it ok to reduce a woman to nothing but her anatomy if you’re male, but perfectly fine to make it seem like the only thing about a woman that matters if you’re female?

    (Rhetorical question, of course. “Because shut up,” Hyperfeminist explained. 😛 )

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