How To Alienate Family And Friends In 7 Easy Steps: A Fisking

I came across this eye-rolling piece published at Mic by Maria Solis. Her bio on the site says she’s a staff writer that covers “trending news” for the site. To call what she writes news is a huge stretch. Op-Ed or Yellow Journalism is a better descriptor of what she writes.

The site itself claims to be writing news that millennials care about. I assume by millennials, they mean adults still living at home, that have no job or a part-time menial job, and aren’t mature enough to cope with anything outside their little insular circle of friends.

As I get older, I can somewhat relate to that last part, because I have little patience anymore for whiners or people who try to tell me what to do. I try to be as polite in telling them to pound sand, but sometimes they just won’t take the hint. That’s usually when things go downhill and I end up making them cry.

So, I came across this How-to article on alienating family and friends and ensuring that your choice of candidate never gets elected.

The original article is in black. For the sake of brevity, parts of little importance have been removed.

Red is the summarized checklist for alienating family, friends and just about everyone else.

Blue are my comments.

Let’s get started.

In 2017, I’ll continue to be a feminist killjoy

Oh joy /sarc

1. In order to begin alienating people, start by attacking the traitors of your cause. AKA, those on your side who want to actually win an election again in their lifetime. 
Following the presidential election, Democrats were tasked with acknowledging the complicated set of factors that led to Donald Trump’s victory. And so, in a competition of finger pointing, some decided it was easiest to turn their backs on political correctness — identity politics, they argued, had cost Hillary Clinton the election.
This is what mature, rational,  intelligent people do when they realize they are wrong. 
New York Times contributor Mark Lilla became the unofficial leader of this movement…blah blah blah.
But it wasn’t just him. Political correctness, code for being respectful and inclusive of marginalized people, became the butt of several jokes, withSaturday Night Live and Jimmy Kimmel Live! being among the first to hop on the bandwagon.
Sorry, but Political Correctness is not code for being respectful or inclusive of marginalized people. It is rather a tool to bash people over the head with that don’t agree, until they either beat the snot out of you, shut up or come over to the PC side.

Maybe try using manners instead and show respect for all people, not just a chosen few. If everyone would once again use this often rare tool, the world would be a lot friendlier place.

2. Step two in alientating friends, family and everyone else is to not understand humor. Especially, humor that uses satire or sarcasm to make a point. And then attack people that do understand the humor. Lastly, refuse to accept any explanations of what the joke is really about. When you go off on a rampage every time someone cracks a funny that you don’t understand, it will bring you closer to being ostracized by those people.
Whereas SNL in particular had spent the duration of the presidential race mocking Trump, after his win, they took aim at a different target.
“The dating app Tinder announced a new feature this week which gives users 37 different gender identity options,” Colin Jost said on the show’s “Weekend Update” segment. “It’s called ‘Why Democrats lost the election.'”

SNL was not making fun of Tinder’s multiple gender categories, they were making fun of the people blaming such things for Hillary’s loss. She lost because Trump received more electoral votes than she did. I wouldn’t have voted for Hillary if she was the only candidate, yet I even think this is funny.

The same week, Kimmel hosted a “politically correct Thanksgiving pageant” on his show, enlisting children to reenact the original story of the holiday. At the end of the gag, during which the children enjoyed a “locally sourced feast” in their “safe space,” a narrator reminded viewers, “Please don’t applaud, it’s insensitive to people with no arms.”

Now this one is making fun of special snowflakes that melt over every offense they can muster. I’m leaving the links, because they’re hilarious.

It can be tempting to brush off these jokes, but aside from being deeply unfunny, they’re harmful too. They punch down. They suggest that racism, sexism and transphobia aren’t issues; instead, the it’s the person who calls them out who’s the issue: the killjoy.
I would never brush them off. It’s far too fun to spread them around and make fun of overly sensitive snowflakes.
The killjoy, after all, had always been the person who readily accepted that there were more than two genders. This was the same person who might have taken a moment to acknowledge at Thanksgiving dinner that the holiday was one that ostensibly celebrated colonialism and the genocide of Native Americans.
One the offended person is partaking in, of course. Because, having a consistent follow through of beliefs would be work. It’s far better to continue to partake in the celebration all while complaining about it.
3. Proudly boast about being a snowflake who has no respect for anyone, except the imaginary groups of marginalized straw people.
This person is usually me — the feminist killjoy.
For sanity’s sake trade being a feminist killjoy for watching the show Killjoys. The show is far more fun and has far less whining than being a feminist killjoy.

What is a feminist killjoy?

4. Be diligent in watching for every offense regardless how small or unintended to backup your claim of being a snowflake. 

…Everyone is having polite conversation, until someone says something racist, sexist, homophobic — take your pick. This is the feminist killjoy’s time to shine, cautiously responding to their comment, while also realizing you are about to sap all of the “fun” out of the room.

Or, you could stop being a self-righteous prick for a few hours and enjoy being around civilized people.

5. Be a proud and angry snowflake. Social skills are for normal people.

My feminism is often viewed as a perpetual state of anger. But I’m OK with that. I’m not sorry to tell my mother, the rest of my family, my friends and my colleagues that I intend to stay angry…blah blah blah.
I will not leave my anger behind in 2016, with all of the terrible things that produced it. I will stay mad in 2017, and for good reason.
Because you’re a perpetually offended harpy who doesn’t have a life?

The case for being a feminist killjoy in 2017 is a pretty clear one.

To summarize this section – Trump is evil. Sorry…I got nothing.
6. Fight against sanity by any means necessary, from your safe space of course.
…We must not let anyone trick us into thinking that “political correctness” is a matter of suppressing free speech with “trigger warnings” or “safe spaces,” but remember that it’s always been about caring about people who have less privilege than we do.
7. Revel in the joy of being an obnoxious jerks.
“There can be joy in killing joy,” she writes. “Kill joy, we can and we do.”
There you go. Your handy guide for alienating your friends, family and everyone else in 7 easy steps.

5 Comments


  1. // Reply

    Good news is she ain\’t breeding…


  2. // Reply

    Native Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. I doubt the author of that piece has ever talked to a Native American, let alone visited a reservation, but they do.

    Just thought I\’d throw that out there.


  3. // Reply

    Isn\’t it customary in fiskings to include a link to the original article?


    1. // Reply

      An oversight on my part. Being fixed.

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