Elderberry06: Can you believe this garbage? The puppies are all talking about the Dragon Awards like they’re something special.
Bluebunny: I hate puppies! They try to ruin everything. Can’t they just be put to sleep?
Notfound404: You did tell them to start their own award.
Elderberry06: Well we didn’t mean it. What if people like having a voice in selecting the best SFF without paying for the privilege? Where will the Hugos end up?
Bluebunny: Exactly! Without the puppy’s to drum up controversy, the Hugos will die a slow painful death. Then how will people know which authors they should read? They might choose to read fun books like Honor At Stake by that yucky Declan Finn or The End of All Things by John Scalzi.
Elderberry06: He’s on our side.
Bluebunny: Wait. What? Declan Finn is on our side?
Elderberry06: Gods no! Scalzi is on our side. I couldn’t imagine that…that…I can’t even say it.
Elderberry06: He’s not a real writer. Real writers don’t sell their work.
Notfound404: Scalzi sells his work.
Bluebunny: Yes, but he’s one of us. It’s okay for him to do it.
Notfound404: But wouldn’t that make him not a real writer.
Elderberry06: Of course he’s a real writer.
Notfound404: But…oh never mind. What is everyone reading?
Bluebunny: A book by a black mexican trans male who eats nothing but coconuts.
Notfound404: What’s it about?
Bluebunny: No idea.
Notfound404: Then why are you reading it?
Bluebunny: Well, duh, because it’s by a black mexican trans male. They are so discriminated in the publishing field. Forsi has to self publish because publishers are transphobic.
Notfound404: Maybe it’s because you can’t tell what the stories about?
Bluebunny: Of course not.
Elderberry06: Well I’m reading a book by an African pygmy gay male who is fighting for gay marriage in Uganda.
Notfound404: And what is his book about?
Elderberry06: Seriously, can you be more offensive? Zue does not use “he”.
Notfound404: Okay. What is the book about?
Elderberry06: It’s about the love affair before a Ugandan sheep hurder and zue’s goat.
Notfound404: …..okay…sorry I asked
Bluebunny: OMGs, I just got a Tweet letting me know that I’ll be on Now, Now! talking about Dragon Con.
Elderberry06: That’s great. Everyone will hear how horrible Dragon Con is.
Bluebunny: Actually, it’s quite fun.
Notfound404: It really is.