Declan Finn’s Number One Fan

“Why do you make me do this to you? If you would just be quiet, I wouldn’t have to use the duct tape.” I through the blanket over Declan’s prone body in my back seat. “Now, I don’t want any more trouble out of you.” I pushed his feet inside and closed the door.

I climbed into the driver’s seat of my Saturn, set the small fuzzy black rabbit in the passenger seat and turned up the sound on my mp3 player.

I’d never given much thought to how I would die – though
but even if I had – I would not have imagined it like this.

“Don’t you just love Twilight.” I said. Declan made an unintelligible noise through the sock I had duct taped over his mouth. “Me too. It’s the best love story of all time. After Honor At Stake, of course.” With the way traffic was and the fact I had no damn clue how to get back to Iowa, we might get to listen to all four books before we reached home.

I drove through the night, finally stopping at the end of book two for a few hours of sleep at a rest stop in Kentucky. “Declan, wake up.” Declan’s left eye peeked open. “I’m going to remove the duct tape. Now don’t go trying to scream, no one’s around to hear you.”

“This might hurt a bit.” I ripped the duct tape off in one quick stroke. Declan screamed like a girl and said some very offensive things, but I just brushed them off. I couldn’t blame him, duct tape is painful to remove.

“Now, now Declan, if you would have just listened to me, this could have all been avoided. I mean really, how long do you expect me to wait for the sequel to Honor At Stake to come out?  Especially, when you left Honor At Stake hanging like you did. You have only yourself to blame. Honor At Stake came out three days ago. That should be more than enough time to get me a copy of book two.”

A string of cuss words that could only come from a New Yorker streamed out Declan’s mouth. “Get out of the cock-a-doodie care.” He went silent. I helped him out of the car and into the rest area. Zip ties around the ankles did make it awfully difficult to walk.

There was no way I was going to go into the men’s room, so cut the zip ties from his wrists and waited by the door. The only way out of the men’s room was through the same door so there was no escape. After twenty minutes, I wonder if he had fallen. Maybe I should have cut the ties on his ankles.

I inched the door open just enough to peek my head in. “Declan,” called. My only reply was some grunting. I forced myself to go inside. At the other end of the room was a small window, a window entirely too small for anyone older than five to crawl through. Something that Declan learned the hard way.

“Were you trying to escape?” I couldn’t believe how much effort he was going through to keep his next book out of my hands. It’s as if he didn’t want me to read it.

“No, I was just trying to get some fresh air, you psycho.”

“Well, I’m going to have to do something to make sure you don’t try something like this again. I have to know what happens with Marco and Amanda and I can’t find that out if you don’t finish the book.,” I said. I walked back out into the lobby. There had to be something I could use.

“This will work nicely.” I pulled the fire extinguisher from the wall and walked to where Declan dangled from the window. Declan screamed as I smashed the bottom of the extinguisher into his right ankle, crushing the bones. “That ought to do it.”

The rest of the ride home was quiet and peaceful. Declan sat in the passengers seat, silently in prayer. I’m sure he was praying, as I was, that Bella would choose Jacob over Edward. That would have been a way better story.

We pulled up to my apartment building as chapter four of book three began. We went into my bedroom where my desk was. “You can use this computer.” I set the laptop down on the desk and zip tied his ankles to the metal legs.

He just sat there. “The faster you type the faster you get to go home.” I said. I sat down on my bed with my kindle and pulled up Mind Over Psyche. I had been going to read it since I won it on Declan’s show, but between work and the drama on Facebook I hadn’t found time to read it.

“Mooooommmm!” My son, Andrew, popped his head into my room. “Can you put some gas in my car? I’m about on empty.” 

“Help!” Declan yelled. The zip ties prevented him from turning all the way around. “She’s got me tied to this desk.”

Andrew cocks his head to the side and looks at me. “Mom, you can’t tie people up.” He walked a couple of steps toward Declan, wire cutters in hand.

“Don’t make me kill you child,” I said. “He can go back to that people infested place he calls home once book two is done or maybe after book three. I haven’t decided yet.”

“But, it’s illegal.” Andrew said. “You’re a paralegal, you should know this.” He stopped just out of reach of Declan’s flailing arm trying to grab for the cutters.

“Oooo. Where’d you get the bunny?” Andrew moved, hands outstretched towards the black ball of fur sitting on my lap. I handed him over.

“His name is Peeves.”

“Can we keep him?”

“You can if you let me loose,” Declan said.

“No. You’re on your own, Dude. Good luck, ’cause she’s crazy.” Andrew took the rabbit and left the room.

“I have the second one written already.” Declan said. “Just let me go and I can get you a copy.”

“You should have gotten me a copy after I requested one nearly a month ago. I wrote that review saying how much I loved Honor At Stake and I thought you’d get the hint. But no, you ignored me. Is that how an author should treat their number one fan? I think not. Now get writing. If you did it once, it should be easier to do a second time.”

The time passed as Declan typed and I read. Karina was smart and waited until the whole series was out before giving me a copy. She was so good to me. Unlike that ungrateful Declan. I don’t know why I bothered with him.

“I’m done. Here.” Declan shoved a ream of printed paper at me. “Can I go now?”

“Fine.” I cut him free. “When book three is ready to go, I expect a copy.”

Declan hobbled out of my room and into my son’s room. “Give me the damn rabbit.” He tucked the bunny under his arm and hobbled out the door.

I picked up the stack of pages and flipped past the first couple pages. My jaw dropped.

You are a psycho. You are a psycho.
You are a psychoYou are a psycho.

It wasn’t the sequel to Honor At Stake. I thought he was good, but he wasn’t. He was just another lying dirty birdie. I tossed the paper into the recycling bin and ran after him. He was leaned next to a police car, his hands going wild.

“You’ve won this round, Declan, but don’t think you’re getting away. I will find you and I will get a copy of that sequel.”


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